Yes, I read that article too. One person at work who showed some traits of a malignant narcissist complained to the boss because I treated her with indifference, I think because she couldn’t stand that she wasn’t getting the supply she was entitled to. To try to get a rise out of me she would constantly sing as loud as she could in her strident voice until other staff members complained. That’s why I’d never allow one of these monsters into my life voluntarily.

Yes that’s true Trisha. They learn how far to push people. Far enough to get as much out of them as they can, but not quite far enough to push them away. I’ve written about that here – http://narcissisms.com/how-far-does-a-narcissist-push-you/

It’s lucky I’m not with one, though I think I’ve known a few. Because knowing me, I’d be the one to blurt out the truth once they did or said something that happened to be the last straw. And I’ve heard that narcs who’ve really honed their skills in manipulating people have the knack of figuring out how far they can go but still get away with it.

They certainly won’t Trisha! How about, “I’m working overtime for our future.” And, “I’m taking kickboxing lessons so I can defend myself against creeps who try anything against me.”

Sounds like you’ve a good plan you’re working towards!

I don’t expect the following explanations to go down well.

Such as, “I’m working all the overtime I can to add to my ‘escape fund’ because I’m planning to leave you.”

Or, “I’m taking kickboxing classes and weight training at the gym so that I’ll be more able to physically defend myself against you if or when I need to.”